There Are Worse Things
by ShipperInParadise
Summary: A song played in the background, filling the nearly empty room with unheard music. John sat there, completely numb. How had he been so stupid? He didn't know. Why had he let himself believe that there was even a chance? Again, he couldn't produce an answer. And why had he let Mulligan convince him to get his number? That was the real question, wasn't it. "Lams", they'd said. As if.
1. Chapter 1

Eat, sleep, study, class, repeat. That was John Laurens' daily life, and it had been for almost the past two years. Not that he minded in the slightest. Even working himself to the bone to keep up his GPA was better than dealing with his parents back in South Carolina. Almost anything was better than dealing with family in South Carolina. Well, except maybe listening to Thomas Jefferson ramble on about... Well... Almost anything. This time especially, considering his chosen topic just so happened to be the lgbt+ community and how, "dangerous and abnormal," they were.

"Herc, I swear, I'm gonna punch him," John muttered to Hercules Mulligan, his angry gaze was still trained on Thomas.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but let him be. You can't fight him. Don't give me that look, John, you know it's true. Besides, punching him would just prove his point." John sighed and looked away after Mulligan's comment. He was right, of course. Even if Jefferson deserved a good right hook, doing so would only give him a chance to say, "Look, see, I was right. Dangerous."

"Fine..." John finally muttered, much to both his own annoyance and Mulligan's satisfaction. As much as Jefferson bothered him, there were only a few minutes until class started and he would be forced to shut up. John could wait that long, probably.

"Hey, where's Aaron?" Mulligan asked, eyebrows raised as he swept the room. It wasn't often that Burr was late to class, and even more rare for him to skip all together. But, there they were, two minutes until the professor was going to show up, and he was nowhere to be found.

"I don't know, he's probably with Theodosia," John offered, shrugging. Mulligan nodded in agreement. Theodosia was Burr's new girlfriend, and he spent almost all his free time with her. Not that John blamed him, the girl was absolutely beautiful. He might have even liked her, if he liked women. Which, for the record, he didn't.

It couldn't have been more than thirty seconds after their speculations, though, that the door swung open and Burr himself came waltzing in. And, although he wasn't alone, his companion actually wasnt Theo. Trailing him was a tall, brunet boy with big eyes that seemed to be attempting to take everything in at once. John couldn't help staring as the guy, who he had admittedly never seen before, quietly shuffled around with Burr.

"Oooooh, someone's smitten," Hercules chuckled from beside him, earning a blushing death glare from John.

"Oh fuck off, Mulligan, I am not. He's just... Interesting... okay?" He muttered, looking down slightly. "Have you ever seen him around? I'm guessing he's new... Not exactly a face one doesn't notice." John added, turning to watch the boy again. From next to him, Mulligan shook his head.

"You know I don't swing that way, but damn, if I did..." He remarked, whistling. "For the record, you have my full permission to go for it." John chuckled at that, although it made him blush again.

"Dude, we don't even know his name yet. Slow down," he laughed, lightly shoving Mulligan's shoulder. From across the classroom, Burr called him over.

"Hey, Laurens, over here," he shouted, motioning towards the new kid. John glanced at Mulligan, who gave him a wink, before standing and making his way across the classroom.

"Aaron," he greeted, looking over the boy again. His hair actually wasn't brown, John realized, after closer inspection. If anything, it was a darker shade of auburn. Burr nodded in acknowledgment, which brought John's attention back to him, before saying,

"Alexander, this is John. John, meet my roommate, Alexander Hamilton. Show him around, would you?" and proceeded to nearly shove Alexander at him and disappear. John laughed and shook his head, but Alexander's face went deep red.

"I-I'm so, so sorry about him. You... You really don't have to- to, I can just, uh, go find another seat," he stuttered, eyes darting around frantically. John had to notice how embarrassed he seemed, what with the way his words were all rushed together. And there was something else... An accent? It was faint, a sort of blink and you'd miss it lilt, and yet he was certain it was there.

"Naw, it's cool. Alexander, right? Come on over, I'll introduce you to my friend. You're new, yeah?" He asked, turning and motioning for Alexander to follow. Slowly, after throwing an angry look at Burr, Alexander trailed after him. From across the room, Mulligan offered John a confused eyebrow raise, which was quickly followed by a pointed look. A clear and wordless, "Just go with it."

"Mulligan, this is Alexander Hamilton. He's new," John simply stated, before sitting back down and motioning to the seat in front of him. Alexander, although seemingly on edge, took a seat and nodded towards Hercules, who returned the nod with a smile.

Turning towards Alexander, John continued, "Yeah, his first name is Hercules, but everyone just calls him Mulligan." After a moment, he leaned in and said, "I'd pay you to make a mythology joke. You're new enough he probably wouldn't kill you." To that Alexander laughed, smiling slightly.

"For the record, don't listen to the doctor with a death wish," Mulligan said, leaning over to shake Alexander's hand. "Hercules Mulligan, but call me Hercules and I actually will kill you. Everyone calls me Mulligan, anyways." He chuckled.

Alexander smiled, replying, "Will do. Or, rather, won't do," before turning back to John. "You're a doctor?" He asked, raising an eyebrow as he gave him a once over. John sighed, shaking his head slightly. It was obvious that Alexander was assuming what everyone always assumed. Doctor, as in having a Doctorate.

"Not like that. I declared my major in freshman year, and i'm studying medicine." he explained. Alexander nodded in understanding, smiling slightly at John.

"Same," he commented, gesturing towards a textbook laden bag. "Poli- sci," he clarified, pulling out a law book for a moment before shoving it back in with the rest. John had to chuckle at his lack of organization, and frankly, his lack of caring about the fact.

"Well, unlike you nerds," Hercules cut in, "I didnt declare until last year." After a confused glance from Alexander, he added, "I'm a senior." John nodded in agreement.  
"That's true, but you're hardly in a place to be calling US nerds, Ken doll." John laughed, throwing him a smirk.

Mulligan sighed, punching John in the shoulder lightly before turning to Alexander and saying, "I'm a fashion major. Now, before you can even ask, yes, I want to be a designer, yes, I watch America's Next Top Model, no, I'm not gay. Anything else?" Alexander gave him an amused look, shaking his head. "Good," Herc nodded, leaning back in his chair.

John was just opening his mouth to say something, although what he was going to say he didn't know, when the classroom door swung open. A tall, older man with buzzed hair and a suit walked in, and the class fell silent.

"Is that Professor Washington?" Alexander asked, leaning over towards John.

"Yeah, Washington's cool. He's taught here for a couple years now, but this is his first year teaching public speaking. Herc's had him before, right?" After a brief nod from Mulligan, John turned to face Alexander again, and whispered, "You should like him, Alexander."

Alexander chuckled, and whispered back, "You can call me Alex, you know," before getting a stern look from Washington and falling quiet again.

"Alright, everyone, today we're going to be working on assigning topics, and researching them. We'll be presenting them next class, so come with a prepared piece. Alright, i'll turn you loose." Washington announced, and that was that.

The rest of class went rather smoothly, and by the end both John * _and_ * Washington were extremely impressed with Alex's clear skill in writing. He had chosen history of debate for his topic, which John thought was absolutely brilliant considering the class, while he himself had chosen the decomposition of rate of a cadaver. Not as fitting, but according to Alex, "Bloody awesome. No pun intended."

"Alright, it was good meeting you, but we gotta get going," Mulligan finally said, as everyone was packing up their work. Alex raised an eyebrow, and John elaborated.

"It's Thursday. Herc and I meet friends to study every Thursday. I would ask if you wanted to come, but..."

Alexander blushed, shaking his head and rushing, "Oh no, I get it. It was, uh, nice to meet you, John, Mulligan."

"Yeah, it was nice meeting you," John repeated, now blushing also. Herc elbowed him in the side, although not exactly discretely, and John glared at him. He flicked his eyes towards Alexander, to which John gave him an annoyed glance.

"Alright, well I'm gonna go," Alex mumbled, turning to leave. Once he was out of earshot, Mulligan turned to John.

"Aren't you gonna ask him for his number?" He asked, giving him a "If you don't you're an idiot," look.

John sighed, shaking his head. "I shouldn't... He's probably not, you know, like me..." Be trailed off, looking down. Mulligan gave him a disapproving look.

"This is why you don't have a boyfriend," he grumbled, grabbing John by the arm and pulling him over towards the door where Alex stood. "Aye, Hamilton," he called, much to John's mortification, before releasing him and pushing him towards a very confused Alex

"Um... Hey..." Alexander said, sounding more like a question than a greeting.

"Hey..." John muttered, resisting the urge to storm over and absolutely * _murder_ * Mulligan. Rather than homicide, though, he continued to face Alex and said, "I, uh, forgot that I was going to ask for your number."

Alex smirked, shrugging off his backpack and sifting through for a pen. "Here," he said, pulling John close by the arm and scribbling something on the back of his hand. "Text me sometime," he smiled, before turning and walking away. John nodded weakly.

"But you're not smitten," Mulligan chuckled behind him. John whipped around, eyes narrowing in a glare, which only made him smile slightly.

"Yeah, yeah, screw you," John grumbled. Glancing down, he looked at the green writing scrawled across his hand. The phone number, followed by "-A. Ham." And a heart.


	2. Chapter 2

"So... Tell us everything!" Angelica Schuyler squealed over her cup of coffee. John sighed, rolling his eyes. They all did this, gossiped, every time they "studied" at Starbucks.

"There's nothing to tell. There was a new guy. Herc and I talked with him. End of discussion." He grumbled, pretending to read over some notes.

"Alright," Angelica's younger sister Eliza rivaled, smirking, "so how do we get from 'there was a new guy' to having his number on your arm?"

John blushed, looking away. "He was nice, alright? And it was Mulligan's idea anyway!" Mulligan shrugged, putting his hands up and winking. John groaned and flopped his head down on the desk. "You guuuuuuyyyysss..." He complained.

"So was he cute?" The third and youngest Schuyler sister, Peggy, teased. She was sitting in Mulligan's, her boyfriend's, lap, but was also leaning forward enough to jokingly poke at John's head.

Mulligan actually answered for him, saying, "Hell yes. Even I might have gone for it," which elicited an eyebrow raise from Peggy. He smiled and kissed her nose, to which everyone else around the table loudly (and obnoxiously) awwed.

"For the record, Mulligan's actually right for once," John admitted, lifting his head off the table. Lafayette, who had been relatively quiet up until then, smirked.

"So you like this boy, qui?" he asked, sticking his tongue out. John sighed, grumbling.

"You know what, Lafayette? Shut your face," He shot, although without much malice. Laf mock gasped.

"You know, it's against the rules to argue with a Frenchman!" he laughed. John shook his head, laughing.

"Since when, you stale baguette?" He retorted, flicking some crumbs at him. Laf giggled, and repeated his question.

"So, you do have a, how you say, crush, on this boy?" Everyone turned expectingly towards John.

"Yes, alright, I have a crush on Alexander!" He finally sighed, throwing his hands up in defeat. Angelica smiled, and Eliza laughed in triumph.

"You should bring him around sometime!" Peggy noted. John shook his head instantly.

"Slow down, Peg Leg," he insisted, "I barely know this guy, alright?"

Angelica cocked an eyebrow and said, "You could get to know him, if you texted Mr..." She pulled his hand forward. "Mr. A. Ham." She winked, as John pulled hid hand away, blushing scarlet.

"Come on, Angie, give him a break," Eliza cut in, although she was smirking too. "John'll never bring him over if we keep giving him shit about it." From his chair, John mumbled in agreement.

"Whatever. I should get going, guys," he announced, standing up. John walked over, kissed Eliza on the cheek, and mumbled, "Thank you." She smiled back at him, and the others waved as he grabbed his notes and headed for the door.

It was only a short walk from the coffee shop to John's appartment, and pretty soon he was back home. After unlocking the door and dropping his bag on the floor, he settled down on his couch. He could have, should have, been doing homeowork. Or studying. Or writing his argument for public speaking. Or about a million other things, none of which included thinking about Alex. The problem was, that was the * _only_ * thing he was doing. And then he wasn't exactly thinking about him in a, "There's a new guy," way.

"I am so utterly fucked..." John sighed, pulling out his phone and entering the number. "Hey. This is John, from class. Just wanted to say Hi." He paused, read over the screen, and added another little detail. ":)"

* * *

 **Alright, first of all, I'm sorry for this chapter being so short. I've been really busy lately, and so these next few chapters may be shorter than you (and I) would like them to be. Please try to forgive, and I'll work on getting longer content out ASAP. Don't forget to comment, I'd appreciate any feedback y'all have for me!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three:

The next morning, Alex texted him back. Blurry eyed, John checked his phone.

New Message From: Alex❤

Alex❤: Heyo

Me?: No, no, no. It's heyA

Alex❤: If you say so. So, what's up?

Me?: Nothing much, just figured I'd say hi.

Alex❤: Fair. This essay's killing me! ?

Me?: Aww... Want help?

Alex❤: I think i've got it, but still. Just a lot of work, you feel me?

Me?: Oh I * _feel_ * you! ?

Alex❤: Hey, don't make me block you! ?

Alex❤: I'll have you know I'm a classy man who requires you to buy me dinner first.

Me?: Dinner, huh? That could be arranged.

Alex❤: I wish I could, but I've got to finish this essay. I'll beat myself up if I don't, you know?

Me?: Yeah, I get it. Well, sometime I should introduce you to Herc and I's other friends. That is, if you're not opposed.

Alex❤: Nope, that sounds good. We should certainly hang out outside of class one of these days!

John smiled, switching off his phone. He'd gotten a response, which was more than he was expecting to get, in all honesty. Maybe Alex could like him, although John doubted it. Most people were straight, right? Why should Alex be any different?

* * *

 **Hey guys, another chapter up! This one is extra short, but I think that it kind of works here, considering that it's a text conversation. Let me know if you guys like this style, and if I should continue to add phone conversations. Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4

**It was recently brought to my attention that I made a spelling mistake, and it was bothering me. So, I fixed it, and I'm re uploading the chapter. Thanks for understanding guys, and don't worry, nothing has changed except for that one error!**

* * *

"Lafayette, this is unnecessary. You don't have to buy me lunch," John grumbled. Lafayette only smiled, linking his arm through John's.

"Oui, but I must. You don't get out much anymore, John. It will be good for you to get away from studying. This is my treat," he declared, still pulling John along by the arm. "And who knows, maybe you'll see ALEX there!" John blushed. It had been a few weeks since he and Herc had been introduced to Alexander, and there hadn't been a day since that the two of them hadn't talked. That fact, of course, gave his other friends a perfect opportunity to give him shit.

"Not likely..." John sighed, still blushing. After an eyebrow raise from Lafayette, he elaborated, "Alex has a project he's staying in to work on." He was sure of that, considering the fact that last Tuesday Alexander ended up having to turn him down on his offer to get dinner. That had stung, even though he'd had a valid reason. Not that John would ever admit that, of course...

"Well, still. Now come," Lafayette ordered, and John trailed behind him. In part, he was grateful that Laf was so accepting of his crush on Alex. The two of them had been, well, sleeping together, to put it frankly, although very few people knew. They'd had a thing about a year back, which had ended when Laf ended up having to go back to France for a semester. And, although they broke it off, they had remained good friends. Now Lafayette had a girlfriend back at home, and John... He wasn't exactly sure what he had.

"You know," John said, catching up with Lafayette, "maybe I should just seduce you back into dating me, and then Alexander's non-identified sexuality won't be a problem." Lafayette laughed, punching John in the shoulder.

"How you say, you wish!" He joked, smirking. John chuckled slightly.

"No, no, I'm not kidding! You could just leave... What was her name, Adrienne? Yeah, just abandon your long term, happy girlfriend and all my problems will be solved!" They dissolved into laughter as they entered the café.

After ordering food and finding two seats in the crowded room, the pair finally settled down to eat. "So..." John mused, around a mouthful of cheeseburger.

"Hmm?" Answered Lafayette, taking a bite of salad.

"You know, I've never understand how you can eat that shit," John said, "but that wasn't my original point. I was thinking about maybe asking Alex if he wanted to go to a movie." Lafayette nodded. "But," John continued, fidgeting in his seat, "is that too forward? Is it not enough forwardness? Help me out, man, you French people are supposed to be good at this stuff!"

Lafayette rolled his eyes. "John, as your friend, I have to tell you to calm down. Alexander's a nice boy, and even if he likes women, he is still your friend." John considered that for a moment, before shrugging. "If you think it's too forward," Laf continued, "invite someone else to, how you say, chaperone. I would offer, but this weekend I'm returning to France, and-"

"I know," John cut in, sighing. "Maybe I'll ask Eliza? Ang and Peg both have a training thing out of town, honestly I could never put in all the effort they do to become teachers... But anyway, that means she'll be alone and bored." Lafayette nodded in approval. Smiling, John said, "Yeah, I'll do That! Liz's cool."

"I am indeed," came a feminine voice from behind them. John turned to see Eliza herself strolling towards them.

"Hey, you," he called, gesturing for her to pull up a chair next to Lafayette. Smiling, she took her seat and faced John.

"Can I ask why I'm cool this time?" she asked, smiling warmly. Laf and John both chuckled.

"You just are," John responded jokingly. "I was actually gonna ask if you could do me a favor, though." Eliza laughed and rolled her eyes.

"I see how it is. Buttering me up so I'll do stuff for you, eh, boy?" She accused, although her tone have away her lack of conviction. John offered a mischievous shrug.

"Dunno, am I?" He shot back, sticking out his tongue and earning giggles from both Laf and Eliza. "Okay, but in all seriousness, I was thinking about asking Alex to go to a movie, and I was wondering if you'd tag along."

Eliza raised an eyebrow. "Why would you want me to third wheel on your date?" She asked, confusing in her eyes.

"Well, I don't want to seem too forward," John stated, to which Eliza nodded understandingly. "So, this way, it's less of a date and more of a 'hey come meet my friend' thing. You get it?"

"Yeah, I get it," Eliza said, smiling at him. "I'll go. It should be fun, and it's * _got_ * to be more exciting than being stuck at home while Angelica and Peggy are at a teaching conference." John smiled at her and kissed her cheek.

"You're the best, Liza!" He thanked, still grinning. Elizabeth simply nodded.

"Yeah, of course. I've been wanting to meet this mysterious Alex anyway," she teased, winking. John blushed slightly while Lafayette and Eliza laughed, at his expense none the less, and yet he couldn't be brought to care. Things were turing out better than he had expecting. Things were going genuinely well. All he could do was hope it would last.


	5. Chapter 5

Outgoing Message From: Me?

Me?: Heyo.

Alex❤: Heya.

Me?: Aww, you've learned!

Alex❤: I guess I had the best teacher ;)

Me?: ah shucks, kid?

Me?: Lol, anyway... I had a question.

Alex❤: Shoot.

Me?: Would you want to see a movie some time? I'd be bringing my friend Eliza, so you could meet her

Alex❤: Yaaaaaaas. I've been wanting to meet your friends.

Me?: Great! Tomorrow night, after class? Eliza'll meet us there and I can pick you up, yeah?

Alex❤: That sounds great. Alright, see you later John.

Me?: See you around.

Incoming Message From: Liza

Liza: Hey, check out this Vid! /Tg6UC0bVDS4

Liza: Also,what'd Alex say?

Me?: Hey nerd. That was cool, lol. And he actually said yes.

Liza: Yay! So, I'll meet you I guess?

Liza: Normal theater?

Me?: Yeah, if you could.

Liza: I can, it's no problem. Just don't get too carried away before we meet up! ;D

Me?: I'm so done with you.

Liza: You love me

Outgoing Message To: Group

Me?: Guys. It worked.

Liza: I can vouch. Johnny boy's got a date!

Mr. Mythology: I'll be accepting thanks now.

Me?: You deserve no thanks.

Baguette: Congratulations, John, we're all happy for you.

Ang : Yay! Now you can finally stop complaining about not having a boyfriend!

Me?: Fuck off Angelica, I don't complain

Peg Leg: YES YOU DO!

Mr. Mythology?: Agreed. As usual, Peggy knows what's up.

Me?: Ugh. Screw all of you.

Baguette:Wouldn't you love to?

* * *

 **Another chapter down! So, this one is another texting style chapter, which I'm still not sure if I really want to use in this story. Let me know what you guys think!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Alright everyone, I want to start out by saying THANK YOU. I appreciate and read every comment you all leave, and I just wanted to make sure you all know that. So, with that, on with the story!**

* * *

"Class dismissed," Washington said the next Friday, and John smiled over at Alex. He felt his heart melt slightly at the warm grin he earned in response. This was their last class of the day, so that meant that the movie was right around the corner. John had let Eliza pick something to see, considering he hardly ever had time enough to buy tickets, and had promised to pay her back later. So that was that, everything was set.

Walking over, Alex asked, "Ready to go?" John grinned and nodded eagerly. Alexander chuckled and added, "Man, I haven't seen a movie since..." he trailed off suddenly, as if afraid to finish the sentence.

John couldn't help but notice the way Alex blushed and looked away, jamming his hands into his pockets. "Yeah..." He tentatively began, "I get it. Classes really eat up all your time, you know?" Alexander sighed.

"That's not- never mind." He mumbled, eyes far away for a moment, before returning to his usual happy glint. John had to admit that confused him, but he set it aside for the moment.

"Alright, so you remember that friend I mentioned earlier?" He asked.

Alexander nodded before saying, "Eliza, right?"

"Yeah, Liz's a really sweet girl. She's a Schuyler, got two other sisters, Angelica and Peggy. Have you met either of them? I wouldn't be all that surprised if you haven't, neither of them is in our year." John explained, as the two of them made their way out of the crowded classroom.

"Honestly, I haven't met many people yet. There's you, obviously, and Mulligan. Plus Burr 'n Thea, but other than that, I haven't gotten out much," Alexander laughed, smiling when John did the same.

"Well, you'll be able to add one more to that list today!" He happily announced, before linking his arm with Alex's and pulling him towards the theater. Alexander, albeit slightly startled, laughed and followed.

"Okay, so what are we seeing?" He asked, looking at John expectingly.

"I actually have no idea," John admitted, shrugging slightly. "I let Eliza pick the show." Alex nodded.

"We'll be meeting her there, I assume?" he said, to which John offered a simple nod. He wasn't sure exactly what to say, or do, for that matter. For as confident as he acted around his friends, John was a self conscious, nervous person around people he liked. And he DEFINITELY liked Alex.

The pair walked in silence for a moment, before John finally spoke up. "So, uh, you're a transfer student, I know that much. But where're you from?" he asked, glancing up at Alexander, who's smile had just disappeared from his face.

"Unimportant..." He muttered, looking down to glare at the sidewalk. After a confused look from John, he added, "There's a million things I haven't done, but just you wait," with a voice full of conviction. The remainder of the walk was silent.

The next voice to be heard was Eliza's. "John!" She called, waving from her spot sitting on a bench. She smiled, standing to hug him before turning towards Alex. "Elizabeth Schuyler, it's a pleasure to meet you!" She announced, offering a hand clad in a pale blue, knitt glove. Alex shook, smiling warmly.

"Alexander Hamilton," Alex greeted, and John could see it in Eliza's eyes that she was trying to refrain from saying 'Oh I know who you are."

"Alright, so, Eliza, what're we seeing?" John asked, giving her an appreciative glance. She smiled back, winking ever slightly.

"Some new action movie. I didn't actually catch the title... I sorta just picked what had a good rating," she admitted, giggling. Alex laughed, grinning.

"Sounds like something I'd do," he joked, smiling at Eliza for a moment before leaning over towards John and stage whispering, "You have good taste in friends." John snorted, pushing Alex's shoulder slightly. Although, he had to admit, that moment of close contact had made his heart speed up.

"Alright, let's get in. It's freezing!" Eliza finally squeaked, followed by a pointed smirk at John. John smiled, winking back before following Alex inside.

The movie was actually pretty good, and by the end, all three of them were already discussing potential squeals.

"No, no, you don't understand!" Alexander insisted, "the main character was TOTALLY in love with his best friend!"

"Are you blind, of course he wasn't!" John shot in a joking tone. "He clearly had a thing for that assassin chick!"

Eliza shook her head, before saying, "He could have liked both. Could've been bisexual, you know." John and Alex mumbled in agreement. "That actually reminds me, Alexander, I was going to ask. Do you have a girlfriend...a boyfriend?" Eliza asked, much to John's mortification. He kicked at her shoe under her seat, which only elicited a small giggle from her.

"Actually," Alex began, unaware of the nonverbal conversation that was going on between the two, "I'm single right now." He flashed a grin at John, which made his heart flutter, although he tried to convince himself that Alexander had been smiling at someone else.

It was then Eliza's turn to kick at John under his chair, which earned her a pointed glare from the boy. He cleared his throat, before asking, "Did you have a girlfriend back home?" Alex went vaguely red.

"I, uh, actually had a boyfriend. But things... Ended badly. That was right before I left, so... I don't really like to talk about it..." He mumbled, clearly wanting to avoid painful memories. Eliza, albeit more gently, pressed on.

"Oh, so you're gay?" She asked, throwing John a quick glance.

"Gay? Oh, uh, sorta. I'm Bi, actually," he explained, still sounding uncomfortable. John could tell how badly he wanted to NOT be having that conversation, and quickly changed the subject.

"Well, that's Eliza, too, right Liz?" Eliza nodded, and opened her mouth like she was about to speak, but John cut her off. "Anyway, you're still wrong. He was so head over heals for that assassin before she died!" He said, giving Eliza a clear 'Drop It.' look. From his seat, Alexander smiled at John appreciatively, which was responded to with an understanding nod. The rest was left unsaid.

* * *

 **Finally, a slightly longer chapter! I've recently come across some free time, and so I have a couple chapters stockpiled. I'll try to release one every day, but if it doesn't happen, please don't kill me! Alright, anyway, I wanted to address this one comment I got rather recently. The person had mentioned Hamliza, and how they hoped it wouldn't interfere, and I just have one thing to say. Or rather, one thing to quote... From both a song, and this chapter. "Elizabeth Schuyler, it's a pleasure to meet you!" That's all I'm going to give you for now, but be warned! Alright guys, until next time.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here, have some fluffy pre-lams. (^.^) We're getting there, people, I promise this is a romance.**

* * *

"Aaron," John greeted, nodding to the man in the doorway. He was at Alex's apartment, not that that was anything new, John was nearly ALWAYS at Alex's apartment anymore.

"John," Burr responded, motioning for him to come inside.

"Thanks," John said stepping into the entryway and brushing some light snow from his jacket. "Is Alex around?"

Burr nodded towards the left. "He's in his room," he stated, closing the front door. "Working on some project of another, no doubt."

John laughed. "No doubt," he repeated, smiling at Burr. "Alright, well I'm going to go kidnap him. Get him out of the house for a change, yeah?"

Burr snorted. "Yeah, for a change. Alright, I'll let you go. Thea'll be over tonight, fair warning," he said, before walking back into the living room. With that, John made his way down the hall to Alex's door. He knocked twice, and waited for a response.

"Yeah?" Came a voice he was certain belonged to Alex. John had to chuckle at how distracted he sounded. No doubt engrossed in his writing. When was Alex NOT writing, after all?

With a smile, John responded, "It's me. Three guesses who." From inside, be heard Alex chuckle, followed by a mumbled 'come in.' "Hey!" He greeted, swinging open the door. Alexander, sitting on his bed, looked up from his laptop with a grin.

"Hey!" He returned, closing his computer and setting it aside. "I wasn't expecting you." John shrugged, still smiling.

"I just thought I'd stop by, say hi, see how you're doing," he said. Alex nodded as he gestured towards the chair at his desk. With a 'thanks,' John sat down. "So," he asked, "what are you working on?"

Alex sighed, flopping against his headboard unceremoniously. "A paper for History of Law," he grumbled. "Do you know the details of the first murder trial in the United States? Well, I do now, and I wish I didn't."

John shook his head, internally thinking about how adorable tired Alexander was. His eyes kept fluttering shut, and his voice was soft enough that a person had to lean forward to hear him. John felt his heart melt slightly as the man in front of him yawned and propped his head up on his arm.

"So..." Alex said, blinking at John slowly. "How've you been? How's Herc? Eliza?"

"I'm good, my sister Martha just started her Junior year of Highschool back home, so she's been telling me all about her new classes," John said, a fond smile on his lips. He and his parents... Didn't speak often, to put it kindly, but he and his sister had been close since they were young. Unlike his Souuthern Baptist, extremely homophobic parents, Martha had always been accepting. And she had made a point of making sure her parents knew, which made John immeasurably happy.

Alexander nodded, smiling. "You've told me about your siblings before, I think. You've got, how many, four?" John nodded. "Damn," Alex mumbled, "sometimes I really wish I had siblings."

"Trust me, you don't," John assured, "they're pains in the ass. You gotta love em, though. Anyway, as for Herc and Eliza, they're both fine. I told you that Liz's sister Peggy is dating Mulligan, right? Well, Peggy and Angelica are both out of town, and I'm pretty sure Herc and Eliza are pacing the halls waiting for them to get back." Alexander chuckled at that, no doubt trying picture the cool and collected Eliza doing anything that slightly resembled pacing.

"Well, I'd love to meet them, after they get home," Alex yawned, as he reached for his mug of coffee. John shook his head, pulling it away from him.

"Ah ah, how much of this have you had today?" He questioned, watching as Alex grumbled, looked away, and muttered, what sounded like 'I dunno... Threw or four.' "Yeah," John decides, shaking his head, "no more coffee for you. I was going to make you get out of the house, but I think that right now you need sleep."

"That's 'diculous..." Alexander argued, although his eyes were already falling shut slightly. John smiled, standing up and setting Alex's coffee back on his desk.

"Get some sleep, and text me tomorrow, okay?" He asked, but Alex was already asleep. Chuckling, John opened the door as silently as he could and slipped out. Walking back into the entryway and grabbing his coat off a hook, he shouted a 'Have a good day,' at Burr before opening the front door, and stepping back into the snow.

"Well," John muttered to himself, pulling on his hat, "that was a bust... Maybe tomorrow..."

* * *

 **A longer chapter, just for you! Thanks again to everyone for commenting and reading, as well as taking the time to point out little things like the Helpless easter egg and the fact that I 100% got Alex's height wrong. The fact that you guys really take the time to READ me work is absolutely wonderful!**


	8. Chapter 8

"You're home!" Eliza, Mulligan, John, and Lafayette all seemed to call in unison as Peggy and Angelica came walking through airport security.

"Hey guys!" Peggy said, addressing the whole group even though she was already tackling Mulligan in a hug. Angelica chuckled at her youngest sister and turned to give Eliza a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi, everyone, long time no see," she smiled, pulling Laf and John into a joint hug. The two of them laughed, hugging back for a moment before offering to help with bags.

"No, no, I insist," Laf said, swatting at Angelica's hand on her suitcase until she allowed him to carry it. Once that was settled, though, the collective group made their way towards the parking lot.

"Alright, everyone's invited back to our place," Mulligan said, an arm still wrapped around Peggy's shoulders. "We have alcohol!" The group all cheered to that, except for John, who had suddenly become quiet, as if lost in thought.

Angelica, ever observant, gave him a quizzical look. "Are you alright?" She seemed to say with her eyes.

John shook his head, a clear "It's fine" type of expression. Angelica gave him a slightly worried glance before returning her attention to the rest of the group. In all actuality, John really was fine. He was just debating on weather or not to ask if he could bring Alex. Sure, the guy had quickly become one of * _his_ * best friends, but he didn't really know how the rest of the group would react to the fiery tempered, quick witted writer. Just because he nearly tripped over his own feet around Alexander didn't mean that others would. "Fuck it," he decided, they'd just have to get used to it.

"Hey, uh, guys," Laurens began, interrupting the previous conversation.

"Hmm?" Eliza asked, turning around to look at him.

"I was wondering if I could bring Alex over. Most of you haven't had the chance to formally meet him, and I've been meaning to bring him over eventually, so..." He left the statement open ended, waiting for a response. Peggy and Mulligan looked between eachother, smirking slightly, before nodding with a shrug. "Thanks, guys," John said, grinning, "I'll text him and let him know!" before giving Peggy a quick, appreciative hug and heading towards his car. In all his excitement, though, John missed the way Angelica and Lafayette smiled and chuckled. And he also missed the look of sadness that crossed Eliza's face, if only for a moment, as they did so.

* * *

 **Okay, this is a 100% shameless filler chapter. I'm sorry... But, knowing that it actually holds some significant foreshadowing might make things slightly better. If you didn't catch the little hints (including the description, the quote mentioned a few chapters back, and the link) then check the last line of this chapter!**


	9. Chapter 9

Once he got home, John shot Alex a quick text.

Outgoing Message To: Alex❤

Me?: Hey, you busy?

Alex❤: Yeah, sorta, why?

Me?: Oh... I was going to ask if you wanted to come and meet some people. Peg and Herc are having friends over.

Alex❤: I really wish I could, but I've got a thing I have to do.. Thea just bought this new apartment, and Burr's moving in with her. I promised I'd help him move.

Me?: Sounds like soooooo much fun.

Alex❤: I know right? I really am sorry.

Me?: Yeah, it's cool.

Me?: Hey, maybe you could just come late. Help Burr, and then come over. You could bring him. I'll send you directions.

Alex❤: Really? That could actually work. Hang on, lemme ask him.

John smiled, setting down his phone. Sure, he and Burr weren't best friends, but they got along fairly well, and so did the others. He, Laf, and Herc liked to give him shit, but it was all good natured. John had to chuckle, though, at the idea of Angelica, Eliza, Peggy, Lafayette, Mulligan, Burr, Alexander, and himself all together in a room. With beer. The thought was cut short, though, by the chime of his phone.

Incoming Message From: Alex❤

Alex❤: Hey, so Burr said that he'd be cool with it. Offer still open?

Me?: Nope, I changed my mind in the last 2 minutes.

Alex❤: Oh whatever. So, we'll be over there at about eight?

Me?: Sounds like a plan. Here's the coordinates. 40.7590° N, 73.9867° W

Alex❤: Thanks! See you then.

Me?: See you then .

With a smile, John grabbed his jacket and keys, and hopped back into the car. After a quick check of the clock, however, that smile faded with the realization that it was 5:15.

"Rush hour traffic... Great..." John grumbled, picking up his phone and quickly dialing Mulligan's number. "Hey dude, I'm probably gonna be late," he explained, puling out of the driveway.

"What?!" Mulligan said from the other side, causing John to cringe slightly.

"Yeah," he apologized, "I didnt realize what time it was. Rush hour, and stuff..." From the phone, he could hear Herc sigh.

"Alright, it's cool. Just get here, yeah?" He said, with a chorus of Angleica and Eliza in the background singing all too loudly. And slightly off key.

"Will do," John assured. "I'm guessing you guys already cracked open the beer?"

"Well, what do you expect? This is us we're talking about!" Mulligan laughed, before hanging up the phone. John chuckled at his friends, setting down the phone and looking around at the cars all at a standstill. He couldn't say that he was surprised, though. New York drivers were always hectic, but even more so when it was snowing. Almost an entire hour later, he finally pulled up to Herc and Peggy's house.

"Well, someone's finally here. Where's Alexander?" Lafayette called from the front door. John smirked, shrugging.

"Sorry I'm late guys. Alex is helping Burr with something, but they should be here by seven," he explained. Laf cocked an eyebrow.

"They? Burr's coming too?" he asked. John nodded and shrugged. Lafayette shrugged back, opening the door and letting them both in. John sighed, shedding his coat and reveling in the warmth of the house. Outside, snow was still collecting on the ground, covering everything in a blanket of white.

"John, get your late ass in here!" came Mulligan's voice from the living room.

"Yeah, you're not going to get any beer if you don't get over here!" Angelica chimed in. John chuckled slightly, shaking his head and heading towards the living room.

"Alright, alright," he assured, settling down next to Peggy in front of the huge fireplace. He had to hand it to her, she and Mulligan had scored a pretty nice place. That was probably due to the fact that Peggy was a Schuyler, despite what she would argue. That was just Peggy for you, though. Always arguing.

"Hey John," she warmly greeted, offering him a bottle. John smiled and accepted, making note of how she seemed much more calm than the others. 'It's almost like she's sober...' He thought, before it dawned on him. Peggy was still nineteen. She couldn't drink.

"Hey to you too," he said, smirking before adding, "Must suck not being able to drink, eh?" Peggy gave him an annoyed look, stole the bottle from his hands, and took a swig.

"Don't test me, Laurens," she said, returning his devilish smirk. John put his hands up, as if in defeat, and she handed him his drink back with a nod. John opened his mouth, as if to say something, more than likely to continue teasing with a firmer grip on his drink, but was cut short by the sound of the doorbell. "Ah, look who's here?" Peggy smirked, standing up and making for the door.

From the front hall, John could hear the exchange of words. "Peggy, it's good to see you," said a voice. Burr, he decided.

"You too, Aaron, and..." Peggy said, waiting for the other person to fill in their name, although she already knew it. Who else could it be?

"Alexander Hamilton," replied the third voice, now identified as Alex. "So you're Peggy! I've heard lots about you from John It's nice to finally meet you."

From the couch, Herc jokingly whispered, "You talkin' 'bout my girl?" John simply rolled his eyes, sticking out his tongue.

"I'm sorry, but our dearest Peggy is far too good for you, Mr. Laurens," Eliza giggled, and Herc smirked I'm agreement. "Ah ah, she's too good for you, too," she added, and the whole group laughed at Mulligan's overly wounded expression.

"You know," came a shout from the door, "I can hear you debating my worth compared to that of various others. What the hell, guys?" followed a laugh that John knew belonged to Alex, and completely melted his heart.

"We debate because we love you!" Lafayette called back, as Peggy came back into the room. Trailing behind her were a laughing, show covered Alex and Burr.

Situating herself on Mulligan's lap, Peggy smiled and said, "I think you're quite deserving," before kissing his forehead. Mulligan gave her a happy smile and John had to acknowledge how completely in love with her he looked. It was so evident, especially in the way he looked at her. Anyone could see how much Peggy meant to the guy, and even the loneliest person couldn't resent them for it. They were too cute.

Standing up, John smiled at Alex and Burr. "Guys," he began addressing the group, "you all know Burr, but I don't think I've ever introduced you to Alex. Alexander, these are my friends." Alex nodded and smiled at them. Pointing out individual people, John said, "That's Lafayette, he's an international student, too, from France. This here's Angelica Schuyler, and her sister Peggy, who just let you in. And, of course, there's Mulligan and Eliza."

"Bonjour," Laf greeted, which was followed by a "Nice to meet you," from Angelica, a gentle nod from Peggy and Mulligan, and a happy, "Hi, Alex," from Eliza. Alexander beamed at the whole group, before turning to John.

"Thanks, for inviting me, I mean," he said, smiling warmly and placing a hand on his shoulder. John blushed slightly.

"Yeah, of course," he mumbled, motioning for both Burr and Alex to take seats. They did, and the conversation in the room slowed.

Clearing her throat, Angelica finally said, "Why don't we play a game?" To which everyone else instantly agreed. John was just happy to have a distraction from the previous events. He couldn't keep his mind off of the way electricity had seemed to flow between Alex's hand and his arm. "Alright," Ang continued, snapping him from his thoughts, "my vote is on Never Have I Ever. But, why don't we let the new guy pick. What do you think, Alexander?" Alex went vaguely red.

"I, uh, don't know how to play," he mumbled, looking down. John gave him a confused look, which he missed, but the sentence had definitely sparked some curiosity about Alex's past. Not that John hadn't already been curious, he'd wanted to find out more ever since Alexander had made the "million things I haven't done" comment, but still. There was obviously something he was hiding.

"Well," Eliza cut in, shooting John a look that clearly said she was as curious as he was. "We'll teach you." Alex looked unsure for a moment, but eventually nodded appreciatively.

"Alright, I nominate we drink with every finger," Mulligan offered, earning another confused look on Alex's part. "Oh, right... Okay, so the name pretty much says it all. Everyone holds up ten fingers, to start. Whoever's turn it is says 'Never have I ever...' And fills in something they haven't done. If you've done the thing, you put down a finger and take a shot. Got it?" Alex nodded. "Alright, good. Ang, you start."

Angelica smirked, and stated, "Never have I ever... Broken something that wasn't mine, but put it back and not told them."

"I was ELEVEN!" Eliza, complained, putting down a finger and taking an annoyed shot. John groaned, taking a shot also. He could clearly remember the ass whooping he's gotten from his father, after he'd shattered a vase and just his the pieces in a cupboard. He still had a small scar on his thumb from the glass.

"Unlike you two," teased Lafayette, "the rest of us are honest people!" John flipped him off, earning laughs from everyone.

"E. L. E. V. E. N." Eliza repeated, turning to stick her tongue out at Angelica. Ang laughed, turning to face Burr next to her.

"Your turn," she smiled, and Burr gave her a wicked grin.

"Never have I ever... Let someone else take the blame for something I did," he said, looking around expectingly. Everyone except for John, Burr, and Alex put down a finger and drank. "Alright, John 'I'd die for my honor' Laurens isn't so hard to believe, but you, Hamilton?"

Alex shook his head. "I'm a man of my word, and I'd never back down from my own actions. I mean what I do," he said, eyes burning with conviction. Burr nodded.

"Alright, if you say so," he shrugged, turning towards Mulligan on his left. "Your turn."

Mulligan looked over at John, and winked devilishly. John sucked in a breath, almost instantly knowing what he was going to say. "Never have I ever... Kissed a guy," he said. John cringed. There is was.

Everyone around the circle, except for Mulligan and Burr, put down a finger and took a shot. Alexander gave John a confused look. "You... You're gay?" He asked, eyes glued to John's. John blushed scarlet.

"I... Yeah. I'm gay," he admitted, desperately wanting to look away, but not being able to bring himself to do it.

"Oh," Alex said, a smile playing on his lips. "Cool." And with that he looked away, ending the moment. John could feel the heat creeping up his neck, though, and he was almost certain that everyone else could see just how red his cheeks had just gone.

"Okay!" Peggy said, drawing attention towards her. "My turn. And I think I'm going to turn that question around. Never have I ever... Kissed a girl!" Everyone but her and John picked up their glasses.

"Thank you," he mouthed to Peggy, thankful for the distraction.

"No problem," she mouthed back, mouth twisted into a half smile. John smiled back before returning his attention to the group. He's apparently missed the question while he'd been talking to Peggy, but instead of admitting to not paying attention, he simply put down a finger and took a shot. John figured it was a small price to pay, in order to not be called out.

A few questions and shots later, Angelica paused the game to use the restroom. "I'll be right back, " she promised, handing her drink to Eliza. Liz nodded, taking the bottle and stealing a sip with a smirk. John laughed slightly.

"You're evil," he chided, as everyone else dissolved into conversation. Eliza shrugged mischievously, eyes glittering.

"Who's to define evil?" She shot, much to John's amusement. He shook his head laughingly, before turning to face Alex. Or, rather, the spot Alex had previously occupied. His chair, much to John's confusion, was empty.

"If you'll excuse me, Eliza..." John trained off, standing and glancing around. Alexander was nowhere to be found. 'When did he slip off?' he wondered, heading for the door with drink in hand.

"Um, alright?" Eliza said, giving him an odd look, and John stepped outside into the snowy backyard, illuminated by the fairy lights in the trees. Shivering, he pulled his coat closer around himself.

"Hey," came a familiar voice, which made John jump. Alexander came from behind him, laughing slightly at his reaction. "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to scare you." John simply glared at him.

"Well, you did," he muttered, "after you totally just disappeared. What the hell dude?" Alexander gave him an apologetic smile.

"Sorry, it was just a bit... Overwhelming. I'm not great with crowds," he admitted, looking down. John sighed, shaking his head.

"It's fine. Just... give me a heads up or something next time? Alright?" He asked, watching the way Alex was clearing a stone of snow with his foot.

"Yeah, I will," Alexander promised, looking back up at John and grinning. "You know, back where I'm from, we never got snow? Not once." John made a little hum of acknowledgement, focusing on the way Alexander licked his chapped lips, and how easy it would have been to have leaned over and kissed him. But, of course he didn't do that.

"Back in South Carolina, we actually got some pretty bad snow," he offered, remembering all the times he and Martha would wait up all night, hoping school would be canceled in the morning because of snow. "A lot of people thing it's too southern for snow, but boy are they wrong." Alexander smiled at that.

"Do you miss it?" he asked, " South Carolina, I mean, and your family?" John shuddered, much to Alex's confusion.

"My parents and I... Don't see eye to eye..." He explained, mentally adding that 'not seeing eye to eye' didn't begin to describe it. At his statement, though, Alex frowned.

"Oh... I'm sorry..." He offered, placing his hand on John's shoulders. John blushed slightly, looking into Alexander's eyes regardless. "Hey," Alex said after a moment, "I understand feeling like you've got no real family. My dad left, my mom died, and my cousin committed suicide, all when I was young. It hurts, but... You get used to it." For a moment, John could tell that Alex was lost in his own thoughts.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered, unsure of what else to say. Alexander had never really shared anything from his past before, and John was terrified of scaring him off. Alex looked up at him, clearly shaken from a memory.

"Thanks," he said, smiling lightly. "They're probably missing you..." John sighed, glancing at the house. It was true, his friends were no doubt wondering where he'd wandered off to.

"They'll be fine?" He asked, which earned a laugh from Alex.

"Goodnight John," he said, taking his hands off his shoulders. But then, Alex did something unexpected. He leaned down, and kissed John lightly on the cheek. John blushed scarlet, eyes widening. Alexander, too, was blushing when he smiled and walked towards his car.

In that moment, John had a million things he wanted to say. What he ended up actually saying, though, was purly stupid. "What about Burr?" He shouted, cheeks still red. Alex chuckled.

"We showed up in different cars, so we could get all his stuff to Thea's," he explained. With that, he waved briefly and stepped into the car. John waved back, watching him drive away until the only sign anyone had been out there with him were footprints in the snow.

"That didn't just happen..." He mumbled, pressing his fingers to his cheek where Alexander had kissed him. "Wow," was all John could mumble as he stepped back inside.

Upons getting in, though, the group instantly bombarded him with questions. "Where HAVE you been? It's SNOWING!" Angelica gasped, looking at a grinning John.

"And why are you grinning like a crazy person?" Herc added, cocking his eyebrow at John.

John blushed slightly. "I was, um, out there with Alex," he admitted, still smiling. The goeho erupted into a chorus of "whaaat?" and "I called it!" John let them all chatter, still picturing the way Alex had smiled at him before he'd leaned in.

After a moment, Lafayette spoke up and said, "You two are officially 'Lams'!" John rolled his eyes, although everyone else cheered at that. Everyone except for Eliza, who had gone suddenly quiet.

* * *

 **This is my longest chapter yet, and yes, you guys finally get your kiss! Sorta... Anyway, being the longest, it's kind of unedited. I did a sweep through, but nothing extensive. Sorry! Alright, enjoy!**


	10. Chapter 10

"He... What?" Eliza asked, setting down her coffee cup. John smiled brightly, oblivious of how pained her eyes looked. He was telling Eliza the story, of course he was telling Eliza the story. It was Liz after all, John told her everything.

"He kissed me!" He exclaimed, a dreamy look in his eyes for a moment. "Of course," he added, blushing, "not on the lips." Eliza sighed, looking down.

"I'm happy for you," she said, not meeting John's gaze. He cocked an eyebrow.

"Liz," John started, "is everything alright? You seem... Off." Watching her face closely, John tried to make eye contact. It wasn't like Eliza to be so quie. If he knew anything about her, and he did, it was that Lizzie was always laughing and smiling. Even on her worst days, she was never silent.  
"I'm fine," she sighed, giving John a smile that was supposed to be reassuring. "Are you going to ask him out?"  
"I mean, I guess. I don't know how he'd react. But I think I might!" John said, smiling still, albeit a bit smaller.

"That's good. It's obvious he's into you," Eliza mumbled. John gave her a confused look.

"Wait- it is?" He asked, a small blush creeping up onto his cheeks. He'd never really considered the idea that other people thought Alex liked him. His friends liked to tease, sure, but John had never suspected anything serious.

"Definitely," Eliza assured. "I was there that day, at the movies, remember? He's really into you." John smiled like a madman. "I'm happy for you..." She added, before standing up.

"Where are you going," asked John, looking up at her.

"I should go, I'm sorry. There's just things to do, and... I'll see you later," she said, picking up her coffee and heading for the door. Over her shoulder, Eliza sadly called, "Tell me how it goes." John nodded, admittedly confused.

"Alright..." He called after her, watching the shop door swing closed. Shaking his head, John picked up his coffee as well. There was no point in staying if Eliza had left. Besides, he needed to talk to Alex. Wrapping his jacket tighter around himself, John pushed open the door and entered the cold. His car sat in the parking lot, covered in a light layer of snow.

Stepping into the car, John instantly turned on the heat. He never had liked the cold growing up, and South Carolina winters were * _nothing_ * compared to the ones in New York. Although, even if New York winters were freezing, there was nowhere he would rather be.

Pulling out his phone, John opened his messages to Alex's conversation. He was finally going to ask him out. He had to admit, that idea terrified him. Yet... Yet still he was going to do it. "You're crazy, Laurens," John mumbled, as he backed out of his parking space.

Pulling out onto the highway, John glanced down at his phone. "Hey," he typed, "you free tonight?" With a smile, he hit send and put his attention back on the road. Snow was still drifting down lazily, making it a bit difficult to see, but if was better than it had been on the way to meet Eliza.

The phone buzzed beside him. Alexander's response, no doubt. Picking it back up, he opened the conversation. "Yep!" the screen read, "What's up?" John paused for a moment. In all reality, he wasn't sure what to say. He couldn't just come out with his full intentions over text, but he couldn't lie either.

After a moment, he finally decided on saying, "I need to talk to you." That sounded like a good enough reply. Although, John never finished the sentence.

Everything happened so fast. Too fast. One moment he was looking down, in the middle of typing a word, and the next his phone was being nocked from his hand as he slammed into the steering wheel. The last thing John heard was what sounded like shattering glass, before being enveloped in silence.

* * *

 **Hey guys. So so so sorry that it's been so long! I was suddenly more busy than I'd expected, and couldn't get any writing done. Anyway, it's up now! Yay? We'll go with yay.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Trigger Warning: Brief mentions of conversion therapy and suicide.**

* * *

Pain. That was all he was registering. Searing, sharp pain that seemed to be coming from everywhere. The world was blurry, encompassed in complete darkness. And there were... Voices? Some sort of noise, trying to reach through the void and shake him out of the blurr.

John groaned, opening his eyes slightly. Everything was so bright, all white walls and blurry faces. There was a woman standing over him. Was it a woman? Everything was spinning.

"He's awake! Mr. Laurens, can you hear me? Mr. Laurens? Somebody get me a doctor! Mr. Laurens?" The voice was getting fainter, and before he knew it, John had faded back into the void. Slipped back into the darkness.

What seemed like hours, or maybe only minutes later, he wearily opened his eyed again. He was in a small room, John could make that much out, although it took him a few seconds to realize that there were also people. Hovering next to his bed, it was in that moment that he actually realized he was indeed in a bed, was the figure of a man. John blinked trying to force his eyes to focus. The man was... Alex?

"Al-Alexander?" John asked in a hoarse voice, wincing slightly from the pain that had just started to settle in. Alex's head snapped up to look at him. His eyes were red, as if he'd either been up for far too long, or been crying.

Alex's eyes swept his face frantically. John smiled, attempting to brush some of his hair away from his face before realizing that Alexander was holding onto his hand. Alex's cheeks flushed as he instantly pulled his hand away, but he still remained extremely close. John's eyes were still locked with his, in a moment of silence, before a voice from across the room spoke up.

"John?" what could only be Eliza asked. Looking up, John caught only a glimpse of her dark hair as she tackled him in a hug. He chuckled, although admittedly in pain, before smiling and hugging her back.

"Hey, Liza," he greeted. Eliza took a moment before she responded, still clinging onto him.

She finally settled on whispering, "I was so scared... God, John, I was terrified," into his ear. John looked down, closing his eyes for a second.

"I know," he mumbled back, "I'm sorry." He couldn't bring himself to meet Eliza's eyes, and so instead glanced over at Alexander, who was looking down and wringing his hands. Finally, Eliza sat back.

"Never, ever, do this again," she commanded, eyes slightly puffy. John nodded apologetically, and she clambered off of him. Only to be replaced by Angelica, who took her time telling him that if he ever did something like that again, that she'd have to kill him. John couldn't exactly be upset by that, considering that he knew that he'd scared them all. If anything, he was thankful that they cared.

It wasn't until the everyone had finally disolved into seperate conversations that Alex actually spoke. From beside John, he whispered, "I thought you were dead..." The room fell silent.

John turned towards him, and Alexander repeated his statement. "I thought... I thought you were dead... They called me, saying... Saying that my number was open on your phone and... Oh God, John..." He closed his eyes briefly, and John noticed how his bottom lip was trembling ever slightly. Sighing, Alex opened his watery eyes. "Never do something like that to me again, do you understand?" he said, voice still shaking.

John nodded, stunned. He looked up at Alexander, who looked like he was on the verge of tears again, and couldn't help but staring a bit. His hair was disheveled, clothes wrinkled, and posture tired. He'd obviously been sitting by his bedside for several hours. Several hours... While holding his hand. And that's when John leaned forward, grabbed Alex by the collar, and kissed him. The other man let out a little gasp of surprise, before his eyes fluttered shut with a sigh.

John's heart was doing cartwheels in his chest. Alexander Hamilton, the guy he'd been crushing on for months, was kissing him. He was almost thinking that it was too good to be true, but then Alex tangled one of his hands into John's hair, and he sighed against his lips.

"Alex, there are people..." He protested, although without much conviction, because at that point Alexander was biting his bottom lip slightly.

"They can turn around," Alex grumbled in response. "I've wanted to do this for months..." John would be damned if that wasn't the hottest thing he could have possibly said. Pulling back slightly, enough to get a good look at Alex's face, he saw the other man grinning. His eyes were bright, and a slight smirk was playing on his lips. John smiled faintly, and Alexander leaned back down to kiss him again. From behind them, John heard Mulligan chuckling.

The kiss was very near perfect. It was everything he'd been wanting, and maybe more, because he was * _actually_ * kissing Alexander. And Alexander was * _actually_ * kissing him. But that's where everything went wrong. John heard the door swing open, and for just a second he considered ignoring it. Thinking back on it, he would wish he did. But, that wasn't the way it happened, and what John saw when he opened his eyes was the last thing he could have wanted. Standing in the door frame, with a look of complete disgust on his face, was Henry Laurens.

His heart skipped a beat. His father was here. His conservative, southern, extremely homophobic father was here, and had just seen him kissing a boy. John instantly shoved Alex away, eyes panicked. Alex, naturally, didn't see Mr. Laurens standing in the doorway. All he knew was that John had just pushed him away, after making it seem that he wanted to kiss him. The hurt expression on his face made John regret his decision instantly. Mouth hanging open slightly, and eyes burning, he abruptly stood up. Throwing John an extremely angry look, Alex stormed away, pushing past Mr. Laurens in the doorway without much notice. John watched him go, part of him desperately wanting to call after him, and part of him knowing that he couldn't. Instead he settled for a miserable, resigned look.

Mr. Laurens cleared his throat. Facing John's friends, he said, "Can I have a moment with my son? Alone." The group all gave John sympathetic looks, but filled out as they'd been told. John took a breath.

"Dad-" he began, instantly thinking of how to explain that situation. His father cut him off.

"What the Hell was that?" He demanded, eyes cold. John sighed.

"Look, I'm sorry, I-" he tried, but his father clearly didn't want to hear it.

"I thought we had this little... Problem... Sorted out, John," he said, tone still firm and emotionless. John took a shaky breath. He remembered quite well what his father considered, "Sorting out the problem." Months of conversion therapy, which had very nearly made him suicidal. And, of course, had changed nothing.

"Sending me to a fucking shrink when I was 14 didn't solve anything," he hissed, eyes burning with anger. His father took a long breath, shaking his head. After a moment, he spoke again.

"I'm paying for you to be at this school, John. I don't have to be. I don't know who that was, but whatever was happening, end it. I don't want to hear about this boy again, do you hear me John?" He asked, voice a low growl. John weakly nodded. "Good," his father said, all too cheerful, before turning and strolling back out the door. The minute he was gone, John's shoulders began to shake and the tears he'd been repressing finally spilled. It took an hour of Angelica reassuring him for the crying to stop.

* * *

 **Hey guys! So sorry for this being up so late. School work has been getting in the way, and I've had like no time. Hope you can forgive, and enjoy!**


	12. Chapter 12

John's stay at the hospital was brief, only two nights, thankfully, but the second night was absolute Hell. Images of Alex's hurt eyes haunted him during the night. In his dreams, John was alone in his hospital room with Alexander. The room was fuzzy, fading in and out of focus now and again, but Alex's form was in a stark contrast to that. He was completely defined, staring down at John with disdain. "Why did you do that?" Dream Alex snarled.

"I'm sorry," John mumbled, unable to meet Alex's eyes. He looked down, shame building.

"Why did you push me away?" He continued. "Do you really value your father's opinions over * _me_ *?" John snapped his head up, ready to protest, when he was greeted by his father instead of Alexander.

"Is there something you were going to say, son?" his father smirked, as John stared in horror. "Were you about to argue with him? To tell him that he's wrong? That you don't desperately need my approval?" He tried to shake his head, to no avail. Don't kid yourself, John. We both know that you're still a little boy, afraid of his father, and afraid of his feelings." John felt his throat tightening.

"You're wrong," he said, voice shaking. Although, he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince: his father, or himself.

"Was he, though?" Spoke another voice, and suddenly, where Henry Laurens had been, stood Mulligan.

"Herc..." John whimpered, giving him a pleading look. One that clearly read, "I can't handle this from you, too." Dream Mulligan only smirked.

"You know, I shouldn't have even bothered telling you to get his number. I was trying to he nice, but looking back on it, that was just stupid. Look where you've gotten yourself now..." He sneered, and John had to look away.

"Shut up..." He mumbled, unable to meet the other man's eyes. "You're wrong. You're all wrong."

"Right, because that's why I had to tag along on your date. Sure." That came from a glaring Eliza.

"And why I basically had to drag information out of you when you were telling us about him." Now it was Angelica standing with him in the room.

"Weak," now it was Peggy. "Pathetic," Lafayette glared. "Unworthy," can the voice of Burr. All these in flashes, and then silence. One... Two... Three... And then came the last voice. "Scared."

John looked up to find Alexander, once again, standing in front of him. "You're scared," the man repeated. "Not of your father's opinions, not of your friends', and not even of mine. You're scared of * _yourself._ *"

John shot up in bed, heart pounding. His eyes quickly swept the room, finding no one. No one but himself, alone onw the darkness... He didnt sleep very well for the rest of that night.

* * *

 **Hey hey! Sorry this is up so late, I've recently come across a particularly time consuming thing, and I'm having to work out a new writing schedule. Once I've got that figured out, I'll let you guys know when you should expect updates.**


	13. Chapter 13

"Alright, Mr. Laurens," a bored sounding front desk woman droned, "you're free to go. Is there someone here to pick you up?" John nodded, gesturing to the room. Behind him, Mulligan and Peggy stood. The woman nodded, handing him a file and returning her attention to her computer. Sighing, John walked towards his friends.

"Thanks again, guys, for getting me," he mumbled, standing with his hands in his pockets. The pair exchanged nervous, borderline angry glance, before Peggy made a not so subtle gesture towards John and Mulligan nodded. John cocked his eyebrow at them, obviously having seen what they clearly didn't want him to see. "Is everything okay?" He asked.

It was Peggy who answered his question. "Everything's fine," she said in an unconvincing tone, and Mulligan rolled his eyes. John gave them both confused glances.

"Don't worry about it, everything really is fine," she assured, and although her voice sounded more sure, doubt clouded his thoughts.

That doubt was silenced by confirmation, however, when Mulligan snapped, "To hell it is. John, let's go." Wide eyed, John trailed after him. Behind him, he heard Peggy sigh before following. Falling back slightly, he raised his eyebrow at her. Peggy shook her head, a clear gesture to drop it, and kept walking.

It wasn't until they had been driving for a considerable amount of time that anyone spoke. "Are going to tell me what that was all about?" John asked. Both parties were silent. "Guys. Really."

With a sigh that bordered on a cringe, Peggy finally admitted, "It's about Alex." John felt his throat tighten. Part of him had already known that it must have had something to do with the boy, but Peggy's tone made him worry. "After he stormed out, and your dad sent us all out..." She trailed off.

"The bastard went and asked out Eliza. And she said yes," Mulligan finished, tone seething. John felt his heart stop.

"A... Asked out Eliza? But..." He couldn't even formulate the words. Peggy gave him a sympathetic look from the front seat.

"I'm sorry, John. I knew that Eliza had the hots for him, but-" John cut her off.

"She WHAT?" he demanded, not wanting to believe it. And yet... It made all too much sense. Alexander was understandably angry, and he wanted revenge. John could understand that. What he couldn't understand was how on Earth Eliza could have helped him. He never would have thought.

* * *

 ***gasping* She's back! Yes, I am, and I'm sorry it's been so long. That doesn't wipe the tears of the years away, but I'm back in the city and I'm here to stay! And do you know what I'm here to do? I AM here for you! Hope y'all like this chapter!**


	14. Chapter 14

Once Mulligan and Peggy dropped him off, John went inside. He took a shower. He combed his hair. He cooked some food. He watched a movie. He went through each and every single thing that would normally make him feel better. He most certainly did not feel better.

John, as much as he is wanted to deny it, was hurt because of Alex's actions, and was angry because of Eliza's. It just didn't make sense. Liza- his best friend, partner in crime, most trusted confidant- had know that he liked Alex. She had known, and she had said yes anyway. That stung. What stung even more was the fact that there had been a question for her to say yes to in the first place.

"Maybe I deserved it," he muttered, flopping down on a couch with a heavy sigh. There was no reply. A silence filled the space, and John couldn't shake the feeling that he was drowing in it. With a flick of the wrist that seemed almost angry, he turned on his old radio and allowed crackly singing to fill the room instead. It was not enough.

The song played in the background, filling the nearly empty room with unheard music. John sat there, completely numb. How had he been so stupid? He didn't know. Why had he let himself believe that there was even a chance? Again, he couldn't produce an answer. And why had he let Mulligan convince him to get his number? That was the real question, wasn't it. "Lams," they'd called them. As if.

He could very clearly recall Lafayette's laughing voice as he had given them the ship name. He had laughed, dubbed them adorable, and sealed John's fate. From that point on, he had let himself really hope. That was his first mistake. The second, of course was... well, he didn't really want to think about it.

The radio played quietly in the background still, although at that point he wasn't listening. John's thoughts were more occupied with his father. His God damned, fucking father, who had screwed everything up. How he had just walked into the room, and instantly destroyed everything John had been building.

Maybe it hadn't been all his fault, though... Maybe John should have done something differently. He certainly should have done something differently. But dwelling on that wasn't going to fix anything, he decided, and with that, he switched off the radio and trecked upstairs for a nap.

* * *

 **Heh guys! This chapter is a shameless filler, sorry. But! But the story description is finally in a chapter, so that's good! Alright, you guys know the drill. Blah, blah, comment, blah, blah, feedback, blah, blah, see you later.**


	15. Chapter 15

The next few weeks were absolute Hell. John was very nearly sure that Alex was avoiding him, and he himself was avoiding Eliza. He just couldn't bring himself to face her, nor could he figure out what he would say if he did end up seeing her. So, to save himself from the awkward encounter, he opted to simply skip the situation at all costs.

Classes were another thing completely. It is was 2:50 on Thursday, nearing the end of the last class of the day, and John couldnt help but glancing over at Alex. Repeatedly. Mulligan, who was sitting next to him, nudged John's side with his elbow.

"He's not worth it," he very near growled, giving John a pointed look. John sighed.

"Herc..." He began, but Mulligan silenced him with a wave of the hand.

"I know. He was your friend. He was my friend too. But a friend doesn't do something like that. To you or Eliza." That statement hit him hard. John had been so focused on his own feelings that he hadn't considered how Eliza felt even once. Mulligan continued. "It's obvious that he doesn't feel the way about her that he does about you. Hamilton is being unfair to both sides, and that's pretty damned cold."

John mulled over that for a few moments. Herc had a point. He sighed, glancing over towards Alex once more. This time, however, Alexander was looking at him. John's eyes locked with Alex's briefly, and in that moment, both a million and zero things passed between them. The moment ended, though, when Alex huffed and looked away. John could almost swear that his cheeks were slightly red.

A few seconds later class was dismissed. "So... You sure you don't want to come over tonight?" Mulligan asked, as they were gathering their things. John smiled but shook his head.

"Thanks, man, but tonight I think I want to stay in." After a moment, he added, "Why don't you and Peggy invite the Schuylers over?" At that statement, Mulligan cringed.

"Peggy and I are... On a break," he explained. John's eyes widened.

"But... Why? You guys seemed so... Happy," he plainly stated, almost not believing it.

Herc shrugged. "Yeah, but we got in a fight. Pegs was defending Alex, saying that Eliza was thrilled and that she was going to stand by her side. I was backing you, saying that what Alexander did was a dick move. We argued, she stormed out. I called Angie and she told me that Peggy is staying with them, and that everything is fine."

Cringing, John mumbled, "I'm sorry. You guys shouldn't be fighting because of me." Herc shook his head and slung an arm around John's shoulders.

"Hey, it's what friends are for. I've got your back," he smiled, and John returned the gesture.

"Alright, man, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" He assured, before turning and heading back towards his apartment. The walk was fairly quick, although it felt like ages because of the downpour. Ages of solitude, while it was pouring, in which John was left to his thoughts. Thoughts that continued as he trudged up to the door, and stepped out of the cold. With a sigh, John shrugged off his soaked jacket and hung it by the door.

He made his way into the living room and settled down on the couch, pulling out his laptop. Tumblr was already open from that morning, and it was his every intention to spend the next several hours there, but the guilt was consuming him. With a sigh, John grabbed his phone and dialed Peggy's number.

"Hello?" Came a feminine voice, but it most certainly wasn't Peggy. John felt his words get caught in his throat as he realized who had picked up the phone.

"E-Eliza?" He asked, and for a moment the line was silent.

"John. Hey," she finally said, sounding nervous.

John took a breath and said, "Hey. Is Peggy there?"

Eliza paused slightly. "Yeah, she just left her phone sitting in my room. Hang on, I'll get her." She was silent for a second, before saying, "And John... I'm sorry."

"It's... Fine." He sighed, and waited for Eliza to track down Peggy. It wasn't fine, but what was he going to say? After a few seconds, another voice was heard on the line.

"John?" Peggy asked, and a hesitant smile could he heard in her voice.

"Hey Pegs," he smiled. "How have you been?" It was a set up question, but necessary anyway.

"I've been... Alright," she said, and John knew that it was a lie. It was obvious that she was hurting just as much as Herc was.

"I..." He sighed, shaking his head at himself. "I'm gonna be blunt here. I think you should get back together with Hercules." He could hear Peggy's breathing on the other line change, as a crack of thunder sounded outside.

"No," she said flatly, tone guarded.

John frowned. "Pegs... My fight with Alex isn't your fight with Herc. Just because you two disagree with what he did doesn't mean that you should break up." Peggy was silent on the other end. He waited for a **moment** before sighing.

"Look, Peg Leg, I'm not trying to get in the middle, I'm just sa-" he was cut off by the sound of buzzing in his phone call. "I... I'll call you back later. Just think it over."

Peggy sighed and mumbled, "Alright. Bye John," before ending the call. John pulled the phone away from his ear, and his eyes instantly widened at the name on the screen. His phone read, "Incoming Call From: Alex❤"

Finger hovering over the button for a moment, John wondered if he should pick up. Curiosity got the best of him, though, because he found himself answering the call. "Alexander?"

Sobbing was heard on the other end. "J-John," breathed a shaky voice, one that he would recognize almost instantly.

"Alexander, what's wrong?" He asked, tone urgent. Alex's sobbing didn't stop.

"Its happening again," he cried, voice muffled. That didn't make any sense.

"Alex, talk to me. What's happening? Are you alright?" He asked, again, previous concern having grown into slight panic. Alex whimpered.

"Please... No..." He weakly managed, and John felt his heart speed up.

Without a second thought, he assured, "I'll be there soon. Just stay put." And that was that. He was already grabbing his keys.

* * *

 **Hello my beautiful people! So I've started school, ugh. But I think I've actually got an update schedule. I'm going to (try to) post ever Thursday. Alright, bye!**


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